Valentine’s Day…UGH!
February 14, 2011 § 7 Comments
I seriously have an issue with Valentine’s Day. As a kid my parents did give us candy and tell us they loved us. At school I got candy and those little cards that get thrown away almost as soon as you get home. I gave them too. As I got older, I secretly wished a certain boy would send me a card that shared secret feelings. I hoped and wished, always to be disappointed. Even if I received a card from a certain boy that said something like “Be Mine” I could never be sure if he really wanted me or if he gave that same card to everyone.
Then middle school came around and high school. Every Valentine’s day I knew I didn’t have anyone “special,” but I wanted someone. So I quietly tried to squash the hope that rose in me each year, a hope that was repeatedly disappointed. UGH! Valentine’s Day. Sure now that I am married, I have enjoyed many Valentine’s Days. I have my true Valentine. The one who asked me forever and offered his forever to me.
I look at my kids and groan. Valentine’s Day at school. Inevitably someone ends up with hurt feelings. Little hearts are filled with hope that another little heart will give them approval. I see it on Facebook statuses, like this one:
Copy this to your status and see what you get INBOXED!(:
GOLD : Be my valentine this year?
RED: I used to like you..
ORANGE: You will be mine
……GREEN: I wanna date you!
BLUE: I love you
PURPLE: I wanna chill
PINK: I like you
YELLOW: Your sweet
WHITE: You’re funny
BROWN: You’re amazing
SILVER: You’re cute(:
Approval, love, acceptance…We all want it. We want to know others love us, like us, think we are good-looking. Yet we already have all the acceptance we need in God. He loves you despite knowing all of you (Psalm 139). Not just the you that you try hard to portray. God knows you and loves you. God sent His Son to die for YOU!
So how do I teach my kids to “guard your heart” (Prov 4:23) when in this world we are placing our hearts out there to be filled by anyone? I am not perfect, but this is what I told them. I want them to know on everyday, but especially the day the world celebrates love that God loves them and that mommy and daddy love them. I want their hearts filled with God’s love and the love of their parents so they don’t need to offer their hearts to others until it is time. As Song of Solomon suggests (at least three times), “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
My goal is to use this day to teach my kids real love. The 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love that is only from God and can only be lived out with the Holy Spirit working it out in us. I pray my husband and I live it out in front of our kids. I pray we pour Godly love into them. I seek to make this day about His kind of love, not our sinful messed up kind. In case you are wondering, yes my sweet husband will be giving me a token of his affection today as I will for him.
What do you think about Valentine’s Day? What are you teaching your kids, friends, family about love?
Hang around leave a comment.
Rethinking My Thinking 
I am trying really hard to turn this day around and not make it about me and what I don’t have and yet I feel so miserable inside I just want to cry buckets of tears. For a divorced woman( although it has been 13 years) I still know what it was like to be treated special by that special someone. There is a big empty spot and no matter how hard I try to give out love that empty spot is still there. Yes I know that I am loved and I know how much my Jesus loves me. Still that empty spot is there. So just thanks for giving me a space to say all that because I really needed to.
I am praying for you Becky. In Isa God talks about being a husband to the husbandless. It isn’t easy finding all our hope in Him when we long for a physical husband too. I am praying His amazing love and plan for you eases your longings.
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Angela ~ Happy Valentine’s Day! Thanks for putting this day into great perspective as only you can! Greatly enjoy reading your writings. They really “hit home” and I know many are blessed by them. Have a wonderful day!!!
Love,
Angela
Angela…Thank you so much and Happy Valentine’s Day to you too. Keeping you and your family in my prayers!
I was always confused by Valentine’s Day when I was growing up. See, my parents are traditional and told me that I’d get a matchmaker when I was a doctor or engineer so I didn’t have to worry about silly American customs. (And they still expect to match me, but that’s a long story for another day).
I do remember carefully going over the class roster to make sure I didn’t forget anyone. Of course, with my Type A personality, I’d get offended if someone forgot about me.
I do like the joke about how it’s Singles Awareness Day, though. That, and the deep discounts tomorrow on Valentine’s Day candy is pretty sweet, both figuratively and literally. =)
p.s. A friend of mine asked me about predestination. He lives in Tulsa, so I told him that I’d rather talk about those things in person than over Facebook chat. May I request that you write on predestination some time in the future? I’d love to hear your thoughts, Miss Angela.
Isn’t it good to know that God loves us regardless? And yes I LOVE the post V-day sales too!
Predestination…I will pray on that. It is quite the topic to ponder and very controversial in the church itself. I will need grace and lots of it. 😉