Socially Inept to Socially Confident in 24 hours

April 4, 2011 § 6 Comments

It isn’t easy being me. I don’t mean my life is harder than average. I mean it is exhausting being me.

One Saturday night my husband and I had an event to attend. I only had slight acquaintances with the attendees and a bad attitude. I didn’t want to go, I was uncomfortable, scared, and insecure. I am an awkward teenager again. The one who doesn’t know what to say, to wear, or to who she is. Mostly the awkward teenager in me fears she won’t be accepted.

About 24-hours later, we had another event to attend. This time I knew more of the attendees, I was confident, and excited about going. I had no doubts about what to wear, or say or do. What caused this severe case of social whip-lash? The ugly truth?

Sometimes I fear people more than I fear God. I am self-conscious instead of  God-conscious. I want acceptance and I fear that I am not acceptable. So begins my list of things I am thankful for.

362. God’s forgiveness.
363. God refines me.
364. I enjoyed the event I dreaded.
365. Friends
366. Spring weather
367. Tears that cleanse
368. New doors opening
369. my husband
370. Nerf flag football
371. Nerf dart guns
372. the sound of my kids as they play together
373. laughter
374. friends who think, plan, and minister with
375. the girls I teach at church
376. Silence
377. God’s grace
378. worship music
379. worship living
380. time with my husband holding hands and dreaming dreams

What are you thankful for?

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§ 6 Responses to Socially Inept to Socially Confident in 24 hours

  • Helen says:

    Angela, I admire your honesty in this effort. How many of us want anybody to know that we felt insecure, that makes us vulnerable. I will remember your writing the next time I feel “less than” and know I can find strength in being “God conscious”.

  • Daniel Mackey says:

    Wife, you were awesome that night! Not socially inept at all. I’m so proud of you to be my bride. God continues to dwell within you, and I’m blessed to have you. I’m honored to be your husband!

  • D2 says:

    I am thankful for old “war stories”. I volunteered to be Southside’s judge for state Quiz Bowl on Saturday (every team brings someone to serve as judge for the other matches). That meant a two and a half hour bus ride to Cabot. On the way there, most people slept. We finished in the top two, so they kiddos will be on TV on April 30th (I’ve been invited to serve as assistant coach, which I think I’ll accept).

    Mr. Adams, Southside’s coach, was in a good mood because of that (he had been VERY unhappy they finished fourth at Regionals and barely qualified for states). Now, I was his first captain so we had a few good stories from the first year on the way back (no matter what, the first year you do something always seems to be the most memorable). I also learned about quite some salacious stories from the past, hehehe.

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