All By Myself…

I like to think I can pretty much do anything I try, by myself.  I don’t need help to open jars or get on ladders.  I can do it myself.  I like to think that I am helpful to others, but that I don’t need help.  I like to think I have it all together.  Look at me, Angela.  Blog writer, book writer, speaker, mom, Bible Scholar (well, sort of in the I am teaching myself and listening to God way).  The thing is that anything I do of myself is broken.  Anything I try to do outside of God is doomed to failure.  No Biblical knowledge or clever analogy is going to amount to a hill of beans. unless God is in it; unless God is the source of it.

Often I am satisfied with just me.  My version or attempt at doing something for God by myself, without help, from anyone, even God Himself.  As if I don’t know there is anything better than mud pies, when God has a wonder feast awaiting me.  Sometimes I even come to a passage and think I have this one.  I know what it means and I put on MY glasses and see it only from MY view.  When that happens I find a distorted version of God’s truth.  I find things the way I like them in neat little boxes, but again, it is like playing in the mud when there is a beautiful sandy beach.  I just miss out.

It reminds me of what God says in Jeremiah 2:13.  “‘My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.'”  We have access to a spring of living water.  It is good to drink from, it is always new and refreshing, it never stops.  It is LIVING WATER!  Instead, I settle for my broken cistern.  I can take pride in the fact that I made it myself, but it holds no water.  There is nothing there to refresh my soul, to quench my thirst, to draw me to God.  It is empty and broken.  However I often bring others and say with pride, “Look at my cistern.  See what I made!”  Oh that those who see my broken cistern would say, “But there is something better, Angela.  Something not made by your hands, but by the hands of your Creator.”  Oh that I would NOT be content with my broken cistern, that I would NOT pretend God needs me to do something for Him.

What is amazing is that through Christ, I have that spring of living water in me through the Holy Spirit.  Father may I do all things through Your spirit and not wallow in my cistern.  Forgive me for trying to do it myself.  Thank You that You do not want me to do it alone, but that You want me to grow more and more dependent on You.  Thank You for being the spring of living water in me!

Got Floss?

Confession time again. Dental health workers please do not hold this against me. I am not an example for dental health practices. Do not try this at home. I do not floss. I hate to floss. I promise I have tried. I find it time-consuming and uncomfortable. Instead of flossing, I have found that mouth wash does the trick. It keeps my gums healthy, and I don’t have to do the tedious, and sometimes painful work of flossing.

apples are good for your teeth

Unfortunately that is how I can approach sin in my life. Maybe you do it too. At times I say a blanket, “God for give me for my sin” prayer. Nothing specific. Nothing examined. Just God forgive me. That is like shoving my mouth full of mouth mouthwash, in hopes that it dislodges the huge piece of broccoli stuck between my teeth. Then walking away without checking the mirror. I have even heard myself tell God, “I know I won’t be perfect today so please forgive me for sin I am going to commit.” That is like expecting the mouthwash I swished and spit in the morning will keep my teeth clear of debris all day.

Much like our teeth need to be examined after eating a large salad, so our lives need to be examined. God doesn’t want us living on auto-pilot, not even realizing when we sin or offend. David had it right when in Psalm 139:23-24 he says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This examination and searching is often painful. Sin festers, like infected gums, when left in dark places of our hearts. Mouthwash may clean around the area, but it won’t dislodge sin stuck fast. Especially, the sin to which we hold fast.

My husband recently informed me, that the current  recommendation is that you floss at least twice a day. WHOA! What would happen if we devoted the same amount of time to examining our lives? What would happen if twice a day, every day we did a sin check-up? What would God do with a people devoted to asking Him to show them their sin? We may actually repent and truly turn from our wicked ways. We may actually live in the victory that Jesus wrought, when He died on the cross. We may live in such a way that others want to know about God. Jesus did say He came to give us abundant life (John 10:10). Maybe through examining our lives we could really live that out day-to-day.

However, we must first get over ourselves, our pride, and sometimes our laziness and do it. We are not to examine our lives compared to others around us, mind you. Otherwise we will be like the Pharisee who prayed that he was glad he wasn’t like that tax collector. (Luke 18:9-14) NO, our example is Christ. The one without sin (Hebrews 4:15). May we, like David, ask God to show us our sin, then repent. May we look to Christ, our example, and pray that, through the Holy Spirit, we can confess and repent from sin that entangles us. (Hebrews 12:1)

Father, forgive me for attempting to mouthwash my sin, instead of examining my life and truly confessing it. Lord may I be specific in confessing sin to you and to others I have offended. Lord search me, and show me if there is unconfessed sin in my life. When you reveal my sin, give me the wisdom and strength to confess it, and turn away from it. You alone are holy and You LOVE ME! Thank You for loving a wretched sinner like me. Thank You for the forgiveness I have through Christ. Thank You for the victory I have in Jesus. Amen.

So have you flossed today?

The Beginning of Confidence…

Since my post on confidence was so memorable for some, and well liked by others, I decided to share the prayer I mentioned in the Confidence post.  My prayers don’t come out in correct grammar or with proper punctuation.  So please forgive me line editors.  Just know this came from the heart.  I tried to clean it up some.

Here it is:

Lord God; Heavenly Father; God of all creation; Merciful Father; Righteous Judge; all-knowing, omnipotent, Creator of beauty from dust and ash; Lord of victory in what appears defeat; gracious, abundant, overflowing Giver of life.  Rivers run at Your direction, mountains stand at Your word.  The earth and all it contains is held together by You; and You love me!!  You call me daughter.  You sent Your only Son to die for me!  If I was the only one to sin, You still would have sent Him.  Your ways are beyond knowing.  Your thoughts are too big for me to understand; and You desire me to know You.  Lord, You made me!!!  You created my in-most being.  You know me better than I know myself, and You love me!  You ask me to come to You.  You desire me to know You.  You made it possible for me to come to You.  How AMAZING!!  How indescribable!  How truly AWESOME!!  Oh Lord, fill my heart and mind.  Please keep my eyes fixed on Your love, Your wonder, Your majesty, and yet on Your desire to be with me, on Your desire for me to call You daddy!  Help me to run to You.  Help me to remember that in You and You alone can I be complete.  Help me to know that in You alone can I run this race.  In You alone can I be victorious, and in You alone can I be truly loved!!  Amen.