The Bottom Line

Wars, rumors of wars.
Egypt, Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan.
Earthquakes.
Japan, Australia, Haiti.
Chaos. Uproar.
People wounded, dead, dying, struggling to survive.
Shattered dreams.
Longings unfulfilled, dreams broken, hopes dashed.
Daily things.
Screaming children, spilling coffee, traffic jam, late again.
Tragedies.
Children sick, mothers dying suddenly, random violence, missing people.
Bottom line.
God knows, God loves, God cares, God controls, God allows, God shapes,
God plans, God is able, God knows best, I don’t understand, but God does.

Jehovah Jireh, God Provides: Why Do I Doubt?

My pulse quickens and my mouth goes dry. I take a deep breath because I know I cannot trust my first response. I need to pray as I gather my breath, I need words to say, I need to not say what my heart is screaming.

My heart is twisting itself into knots, arching it’s back, and throwing a terrific fit. I don’t even want to consider options. I don’t want things to change and I don’t want to move. I like it here. I like our lifestyle. Why do we need to “think about options.” UGH!!!! I don’t want options, I want things to stay the same. We can clamp down, budget, make lifestyle changes. Just not too many and only ones I think are good.

God has always taken care of us before, so why wouldn’t He do it now? Oh, but the question still lingers…What if…

I have always thought of myself as sure of  God’s provision. I trust that He will give us what we need. We are wise with our money. There is no reason to doubt God. Even Jesus tells us if He takes care of the lilies then why worry. (Matt 6) Most often I don’t.

Until the way God chooses to provide, the amount He chooses to provide, or even the where God chooses to provide changes. It is in that moment that my heart skips beats. It is there that my true colors show. I am a MESS. I don’t trust God, I trust “the way things are.”Ouch, I trust my circumstances to remain unchanged more than I trust God’s ordained bends in the road. Have you been there?

Can we really be like Abraham when God asked him to offer his son on the altar and say, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” Gen 22:8

Can we leave our hopes, dreams, plans, comfort on the altar trusting that God will provide regardless if He burns our offering to the ground?

Can we trust God’s provision for our hopes, dreams, finances even when He gives us unemployment, a drop in pay, or an unwanted move?

Simply yes. It takes dying to what we want and as trusting as Abraham did that God will provide.

Has God provided for you through an unexpected bend in the road? Have you seen God’s miraculous provision? Please share. I can’t wait to hear what He is doing for you.

My Not-So-Spiritual SIGH!

I got behind. Out of routine, out of time, out of sync.

Behind in my Chronological Bible reading. I needed to read half of the March 27th reading and all of March 28th reading on March 28th.

Reading the Bible in chronological order means I am in the Old Testament and will be for most of the year. The Old Testament is filled with genealogies, lists of names, strange geographical locations, and extensive descriptions of how to build a tabernacle. Don’t get me wrong, I know that all these things have meaning and reason and order. In fact, I ask God as I read these things to teach me what I need to learn.

Even so, the rebel sigh still escapes my lips as I see a mind numbing list of names I have no hope of pronouncing. So I closed my Bible in my fatigue on March 27th, wondering why I needed a recap of what I just read about who Israel had defeated in their conquest of the Promised Land.

Sweet Rest...

Today as I wrestled with doubts, frustrations, wondering why God is bringing me down a certain road, pondering longing and it remaining unfulfilled, questioning my next steps, I opened my Bible to get caught up. Not only to say I had read my Bible for March 28th, but also to spend some quiet with my LORD. Oh how I needed quiet.

In that raw place I my eyes read Joshua 12 with the heading “A List of Defeated Kings.” My first inclination was to sigh, but my sigh caught in my throat as I came face to face with what I needed. What I need when doubt attempts to tie me down and fear attempts to turn me from my God ordained plow. I need a list. I need a list of kings defeated in my life – defeated only by God’s hand.

I need a list of sin I have overcome through God, of God ordained “coincidences,” of victories in my Spiritual Journey. I need a list. A list that I can bring out to remind myself what God has done and what He is doing in my life. A list that drives away doubt, that reminds me of God’s miraculous provision, that screams of God’s sovereignty during dark times, that recounts when God ordered my steps for His purposes. Yes I need a list in my life, a prayer journal full of God’s answers, a blog recounting what God has taught me, a friend or loved one who walked the road with me and can remind me of my list.

Do you have a list? How do you keep your list? Do you want to start one? I challenge you to start a list with me…Tuesdays at Rethinking My Thinking will become our List Days. Days to share what God is doing in our lives. I can’t wait to hear what He is doing in your lives!