Coffee Stains…

So my attitude has been terrible lately….

Bad attitude about events I needed to attend

Bad attitude about potty training

Bad attitude about cleaning my house

Bad attitude about writing

Bad attitude….I prayed my attitude would not infect others. I believe mostly I kept it between God and I…There was that one morning…My bad attitude infected my kids…I am glad for grace…

And I have stained my clothes with coffee the last two days.

Here is what I realized…My bad attitude lasted as long as I kept to myself. My cave, my cocoon. Yes I need time to myself and I need quiet and I need to think, but God created us for community…

My bad attitude feeds on my solitary self-centered meditations. It feeds on my thoughts, my concerns, my disappointments. I flounder in self-pity and continue to pet and primp my bad attitude. I deserve better. I don’t want to do that! Everyone else needs to get with the program.

Then it happens…A friend calls, I enter into her world. I listen to what God is doing in her life, her concerns, her frustrations, her fears. I stop looking only to myself, my frustrations and see there is more out there. I discover that the world does not revolve around me. I find perspective in the middle of my irritation. My frustrations do not dissipate. My attitude doesn’t magically get better. However taking my eyes off of me and placing them on the One who has plans for me changes my heart. Why does it take a friend’s difficulties to draw my eyes to Him? I don’t really know, but one thing I do know.

God created community for this…to draw us out of our self-centered little holes and bad attitudes.

What have you learned through community that you couldn’t learn any other way? I can’t wait to hear!

Praying For You: Does it Mean Anything?

Facebook status: “My last ultrasound showed my baby was small, next test scheduled on Tuesday.”

I commented: “Praying for you.”

Facebook status: “My husband is going on his 50th job interview over the last nine months. Pray he gets this one.”

Many comment: “Praying”

The question is what does “praying for you” really mean? Do we really pray right then as we send our comment into cyberspace? Are we adding these people to our prayer lists (if we have them)? Or are we holding up our Christian card and keeping up appearances?

Or is it possible that “praying for you” is only another way of saying “hugs” or “thinking about you?” It is a comfort term rather than something we are actually doing? Does that term make us sound good and holy when we are not even bringing the concern to the Throne of Grace? Have we gotten too comfortable with praying that we don’t even realize we are addressing the God who created all things, the all-powerful One?

I admit it is easy to say, “praying for you,” and not really mean it. I pray that I never say/write it without actually praying for that person right then…Most often when I say/write it I mean I have prayed for you and as God brings you to mind I will pray for you again. I am not a list maker or a prayer journal-er. I sometimes aspire to be, but it is not the way I am wired.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, most of my prayer time is the “pray continually” kind. As I am wiping noses, observing children, washing dishes, driving, I am praying. So I have my mental list and my mental list may not be as “good” as it used to be. I am becoming more and more forgetful. Ok I admitted it, I like to blame it on my kids. I mean I have more brain cells dedicated to different people now than ever before…My point is that I may only “pray” for a situation rather than truly “praying.” Does the comment “praying for you” hold water when I only pray once?

I know what I think, but I want to know what you think.

What do you mean when you say/write, “praying for you?” What do you think others mean when they say/write, “praying for you?”

Jump in and join the discussion… And thank you Justin Voris for the idea that prompted this post!

Accountability…

Deep down that word makes me cringe. It makes the inner rebellious child in me stand up and say, “I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do.” It is hard for me to swallow the truth that I need help.

The bottom line is that I like to think I have it all together and I don’t need someone to speak truth in my life except for God.

There I said it. It is ugly. It is pride. I don’t like it about myself.

So for years I had this debate going on inside me. I knew I needed someone to keep me accountable, but who? How do you decide? How do you open up the ugly parts of yourself to someone? I feared rejection, I feared the ugly would make others think less of me. I feared my response when I didn’t live up to the accountability.

So essentially pride and fear kept me from obeying God. As I searched for and prayed for someone to help me. Someone I could do accountability with, God started speaking to me. Here is what I discovered:

Accountability is either specific or organic. Specific is you come to a friend and say, “Please hold me accountable for _____________ .” Then set up times to get together and talk about it or text each other.

The organic kind is sticky, but it happens when you and a friend are chatting. It happens in sharing the stories of your lives together. It must be wrapped in grace and left as a present. Your friend may not accept that present. Your story may be too raw or fresh, but if shared with love, given as a gift in grace, then you can leave that gift with him or her to open and use as he or she feels fit. If your friend does not use your gift of accountability and falls headlong into sin you lovingly speak of God’s grace. We all need it. Grace to get out of the pit we dug, grace to redeem our dirty messed up lives.

Accountability is God’s grace. It is His way of helping us avoid the pits of sin we are apt to fall into. I discovered that my fear was really pride. That my pride was sin and sin is exactly why I need accountability.

Tomorrow I will share a story of organic accountability. I hope you tune in to see what happens.

Do you have an accountability partner? How do you work that relationship out? Is it organic or specific? I would love to know your thoughts. Please leave a comment.