Waiting, Writing, Waiting, Writing…

Have you watched the movie Facing Giants? Here is a short scene I want you to watch:

God has given me a vision. It is a big one. One that I cannot make happen myself. One that I have to trust God to do in His time and in His way. At times this dream seems unreachable and things don’t seem to fall into place like I think they should. Doors are not opening up, rejection notices come, my e-mail box remains empty. When I start to despair I remember this scene. Am I trusting that God will bring the rain? If I am then I must prepare my fields.

My dreams for sharing Him with others through the written and spoken word are huge. I know that God can do it through me and that I cannot do it myself. I am humbled when one person says my writing blessed him or her. I am honored that God would use me to point other to Jesus. Oh that all our hearts would burn for Him.

So while I wait for the rain, I write. I submit. I fail. I succeed. I wait. I write. I speak. I fail. I succeed. All of it is for God’s glory. All of it is to bring praise to Him. All is because He loves me enough to give me breath and words and thoughts. All for Him.

So as I am praying for rain for this ministry, for articles I have submitted, for the book I am writing, for speaking engagements, for women struggling with infertility, for others struggling with dark times, for us all to be more like Him, will you pray with me? Will you pray that I will obey and wait and write and prepare my fields? I can’t wait to see the God’s sized harvest God is going to reap through this ministry. I am so glad that you want to be a part of it.

How can you help me?

1. Pray (I have submitted three articles. I am waiting to know if the editors have accepted them. I am also working on one more and finishing my book)
2. Tell your women’s ministry director about me. (I would love to come and speak at your church)
3. Tell your friends about me and my blog.

Now how can I pray for you? Leave a comment or if you need to click on the contact me and send me an e-mail. I would love to lift you up in prayer.

Doubting

“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25) I imagine Thomas said these words with tears in his eyes, arms crossed, and maybe with a foot stamp at the end just for emphasis.

I find myself shaking my head at this man who refuses to believe until he touches and sees for himself. I mean seriously his other 10 or so friends testified to the truth. Was he jealous he wasn’t there when Jesus appeared first? Why wasn’t he there? I often wonder. I shake my head and think, “I would never be like Thomas.”

Funny thing about those “nevers” I almost always break them. Things I thought I would never say or do, I say or do them. When I take a serious look at myself, as much as I hate to admit it, I am like Thomas in many ways.

I doubt the things that God has clearly called me to do. This ministry from the blog, to the articles, to the guest posts, and the speaking engagements, I doubt. I wonder if I am reaching anyone. ANYONE….Bueller….

I realize this is ridiculous. I am encouraged by people nearly daily and God keeps opening doors of opportunity that I could never have forced open even if I wanted to. The bottom line? I want things to go on my schedule and I want my ministry to be successful according to my eyes.

So I doubt. I doubt when my blog stats are low. I doubt when my blog stats are high. I question when I don’t have a speaking engagement. I doubt when I do. I come off a month when several doors have begun to open, but I have yet to see if these doors will stay open or slam shut. I must wait and while waiting, doubt starts whispering to my heart. I start to cross my arms and tears develop in my eyes. Like Thomas I say UNLESS God shows up the way I want Him to I just can’t believe it and I stamp my foot for emphasis. Yes, I look a lot like my two-year-old throwing a fit on the floor.

I have been content in the past. I know it will happen in God’s time in His way. This is His ministry and if I reach one person I have done what He called me to do. If I reach hundreds of thousands I have still done what He has called me to do. He knows the timing, the plan, the direction. I don’t need to doubt that. I just have to get busy doing the next thing and leave the results to Him.

What are you doubting today? I would love to hear about your doubts so I can pray for you.

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Mommy Nearly Failed…

The tears started to flow. I felt terrible. I had forgotten. The full parking lot told the story.

TODAY WAS MOMS AND MUFFINS!

The day when I am supposed to get up early and get the kids to school early so we can eat muffins or donuts and hang out together. I had completely forgotten.

I had excuses…Ranging from it was originally scheduled for Thursday, it is always on a Thursday – the snow and ice earlier this week had caused it to be rescheduled – to I have too much to do today – drivers license renewed, police report to get from the fence incident earlier this week, and and and. The the excuses rang hollow when I saw the tears in my girls’ eyes. We HAD to go.

I was working at the 50's themed book fair later...Didn't get a pic this year 😦

So I swallowed my mommy pride, tucked my tail and made a mad dash for the building while avoiding icy patches so we wouldn’t fall. I felt terrible as morning assembly had just started and instead of sending my girls to their teachers to take part in the assembly we ran to the lunch tables to eat together. The thing is that I did make it. We got to eat muffins and donuts. It was brief, but it was also God’s perfect timing…WHY?

One of L’s little friends came in to school. Neither of her parents realized it was Moms and Muffins and so she was in tears because she didn’t get a muffin. So I got to add a “pretend” daughter to my brood today. In fact, in order to make it more special for R, we decided she and L could be pretend sisters all day at school. With the muffin in her tummy and the idea of a pretend sister in her head she had a BIG SMILE! No more tears.

So my near fail was another example of God’s perfect timing. He knows. He knew I would nearly fail today, He knew R would need a “pretend Mommy” and “pretend sister” for the day. He knows. He is weaving time into a magnificent masterpiece all pointing to His glory and honor!

He uses our imperfections to reach others for His glory. We only have to let Him use them instead of trying to hide them away. His glory shines all the more brightly when housed in our cracked earthen vessels. We “mud people” make Him more glorious when we allow our flaws to point to His glory!

May His name be praised in my near fail, in the smile of my two girls, and in the dried tears of sweet R.

How has God used your failures or imperfections to bring Himself glory? I would love to hear how you are allowing God to redeem what is broken.

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